Back to School Means Back to Stress?

Despite the newspaper or television ads that show kids laughing and skipping to the school bus on the first day of school, I tend to believe that many kids aren’t quite so thrilled about the end of summer.

Going back to school can actually be a stressful time for children as well as their parents. We rush around trying to get everything in order, filling out forms, buying school supplies, new shoes, clothes, setting new schedules and the list can be endless. However, our children might be worrying about other things as well, such as: What it will be like to have a new teacher this year? What will the students be like; will they be accepting, will I make new friends? What will the work be like this year? I am really worried about… (Insert stressor here).

What are some things you can do to make returning to school go smoothly?

• Keep it Basic: Buy only the basic school supplies that you need to start, you don’t need to go overboard. Those brightly colored store displays give us the impression that Back to School is actually a season that will go away soon, so buy now! But, it is not. Those supplies will be there year round. Most likely, you won’t know all the supplies that are needed until school starts. Schools often send a list home of what your child will be expected to bring to school and use at home.
• Plan Ahead: Get as much information as you can from the school ahead of time. If your school posts the classroom lists ahead of time, try to go as soon as possible after they are posted and help your student find their classrooms and key areas. If it is a new school, show them important places such as the cafeteria, playgrounds and restrooms. Greet the office staff if they are there. They might even meet other kids who will be in their classroom, or even their new teachers. Go to any orientations the school provides. It helps anxiety if you get rid of as much of the unknown as possible. 
• Comfortable Workspace: Provide a work area for your child at home. It doesn’t have to be anything complicated; you don’t have to call in a construction team. Just find a place that is comfortable for working and is quiet from outside distractions. A regular place to work keeps them in a routine, making it easier for them to begin with homework each day. Personally, our kitchen table is the preferred spot for written work and laptop use, or our family computer desk is another favorite spot. For reading textbooks and required reading, a comfortable couch or chair in a quiet room was fine. Maybe they have their own desk set up in their room and they like that better. The point is, find what works for them. I also have kitchen or desk drawers designated just for school supplies. I keep some different folders for work in progress. Nothing fancy, just easily accessible.
• Regular Work Time: As important as having work-space, is having a regular work-time. Plan either a designated time, or if your schedule changes throughout the week, post a calendar or schedule board in place where it is easily viewed. Pick a time that works best for the student to work when they are not overtired and are able to work well.
• Be Involved: I know that many of us work, and we are busy, but it is important to make time to go to the school for events such as Back to School Nights and Open Houses so that you will get a chance to see what your kids are doing in their classrooms, as well as meet their teachers, classmates and other parents. You get an overview of life at school. If your school offers a school/home interface through their website or on the internet that lets you keep track of assignments, attendance and progress, make sure you take complete advantage of this service. These tools are priceless to parents, students and teachers in getting a full perspective of how your child is doing in school. 
• Importance of Fuel:  I know you have probably heard this a million times, but I have to say it. Make sure your child eats breakfast, and make sure you pack enough food (as much of it as healthy as possible) to get them through the long day. If they are buying lunch, check that they bring their money each day and you might want to keep track that they are really buying lunch and not snacks. It might also be a good idea to have them pack a few extra snacks in their backpacks to eat during breaks if they are hungry. I don’t know if you have ever seen a child go through a growing spurt, but suddenly they can become calorie burning machines who require a lot of fuel. Sometimes, they just need more to get through. Without proper fuel, they aren’t in a good mindset for learning, and the effects of low blood sugar from being hungry can affect their behavior as well. 
• Sleep is Underrated: I can’t talk about food without talking about the amount of sleep they need. Yes, they really do need a lot of sleep, and it is quite possible with all their busy schedules that they are not getting enough sleep. According to WebMD, there are some guidelines regarding how much sleep children and teens need per night. 

• 3-6 year olds: 10-12 hour of sleep  
• 7-12 year olds: 10-11 hours of sleep
• 12-18 year olds: 8-9 hours of sleep

• Importance of Free Time: Don’t overbook your child and your family. Do they really need so many commitments that they don’t have any time for free play? Play time that is free from structure is a very important learning time for our kids. It builds imagination and creativity, and allows them to think on their own and make their own path. Free time is very valuable, and also goes a long way to giving them time to relax and let go of tension. A good balance of structure and unstructured time is healthy.
• Family Time: Do you make sure you plan some family time in your week? There are a lot of ways to do this with our busy schedules. Weekly family game night, pizza night, movie night, etc. I highly recommend taking this special time with your kids; they love it, you love it, and they grow up so fast, you will be happy you did. These times make the best memories. Also, planning regular family outings is another great memory-maker as well as a learning experience for the entire family. Going to local museums, hiking, state parks and beaches, county fair, festivals, aquariums, zoos, etc., gives our children exposure and hands-on learning in many different areas. This helps them to see what their future interests might be, as well as teaching them about community, culture and different environments.  
• Listen up! This is probably one of the most important things you can do for your child. Listen. Listen closely. Really tune in to what your child is saying. Their concerns are very real to them, and could be causing them a lot of stress. By teaching them to talk about it instead of telling them to disregard it, we are teaching them a very important life-skill. I have heard parents say “What kind of pressure can you possibly have, you are a child?” Or “You have it easy being a kid, wait until you work like adults do” Well, I don’t know about you, but my school days certainly weren’t so easy. In fact, it was very stressful, and I probably felt more pressure at times than I do, now, as an adult. I think we tend to forget what it was really like. It is also important that we listen and pick up clues that there might be something going on in their life that is seriously wrong or that your child is struggling with a very difficult issue. Don’t assume that all is really fine and ignore their concerns; really listen. Let them know that you are there for them, and speak up and talk with the school, teachers and/or parents if they are needing help, or if you feel there is a problem. 

As parents, there are many things we can do to relieve our own tension, but it is equally important that we teach our children how to reduce and cope with pressure too. This is a very important tool that they will carry with them into adulthood, and goes a long way to living a happy, healthy life.

Coming soon, I will give you some tips and ideas for organizing student workspace at home, whether the student goes to public, private or homeschool. Stay tuned!